Tom & Jerry Jokes

@ single spelling mistake caused a divorce! 

A man went to Thailand & sent a message to his wife "Having d most amazing & wonderful time, wish U were HER "(E)

🎁 Who is a Diplomat? 

Anyone who forgets 2 wish his wife on her BDay 

and later tells her- 

'How do u expect me 2 remember ur bday wen u 

never  look  any older?'

📢 Lady 2 her maid: 

I hv a reason 2 suspect dat my hubby's

havin an affair wid his secretary. 

Maid: I dont believe it! 

Ur jus sayin dat  2 make me jealous!

🔔 If u want ur wife to listen 

and pay strict attention to 

every word you say,then.. 

...... 

..... 

.... 

... 

.. 

. 

talk in ur sleep !!

🎒 A Man to his Frnd :  Last night was my fault, 

my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" 

and ..... I said,  "dust!"

Bhagwan Har Ek Ke Ghar Jake 

Usse Prem Nahi De Sakta, 

Isliye Usne MAA Banayi. 

. 

. 

. 

Ussi Tarah Har Ek Ke Ghar Jake 

Bhagwan Sazaa Nahi De Sakta, 

Isliye PATNI Banayi...

🎃  Height of FB update mania 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

"Suhaag raat hai, ghunghat 

utha raha hun main..."

👿  Aey samunder zaroorat nahi tere lehron ki 

Aey samunder zaroorat nahi tere lehron ki 

Zindagi mein toofan lane ke liye 

" Gharwali " hi kafi hai....

 @ ECG if u go out with wife

/l__,-.__/\_,_,-.

ECG if u go out with girlfriend

_/l_/l_/l_/l_/\_/\_

ECG if wife catches u with girlfriend...

/\________

@ Patni: Wo samne sharabi dekh rahe ho?

Pata hai, maine usse 10 saal pehle shadi ke liye inkar kiya tha.

Pati: Wah! Itna lamba celebration.

@ Ek saadi shuda aadmi ne apni kavita mein kaha hai,

Maang bharne ki saza kuchh is kadar paa raha hai,

Ki maang puri karte karte maang maang ke kha raha hu